ALL OF MY LIFE, I HAVE HEARD PLATITUDES OF WISDOM… but as I grew older, I realized that these platitudes may be true in a perfect world, but in reality were not. In that regard, it is my intention to set the record straight on at least some of the gems of wisdom continually whispered to us by our grandparents and parents:

1. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
2. Sex is like air, it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
3. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
4. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
5. Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.
6. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
7. If you think that nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. If you haven’t much education, you must use your brain.
9. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
10. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. Taxation with representation isn’t so hot either.
12. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
14. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
15. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
16. There are two theories to arguing with women, neither one works.
17. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
18. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her some friends?
19. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
20. Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

"Great cultural changes begin in affection and end in routine." - Jacques Barzun

"To remain young, one must change. The perpetual campus hero is not a young man, but an old boy." - Alexander Chase

"Most change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor." - Robert Frost

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OUR USELESS FACTS AND STATISTICS SECTION… is part of each Bond Newsletter and in that regard, note the following:

1. 11% of people think the best way to break up is just to stop calling.
2. In a survey of 700 men, more said they’d rather have a beer with their dads than with a swimsuit model.
3. New York City has 752,356 more unattached women than men.
4. In a café, French couples casually touched each other an average of 110 times an hour. American couples touch each other only twice.
5. 33% of 16 year old males say they’ve smoked a cigar in the last month.
6. 37% of American women between the ages of 20 and 24 live with their parents.
7. 81% of Spanish, Italian and Greek women between the ages of 20 and 24 live with their parents.
8. 18% of pet owners mention an animal in their will.
9. 75% of people surveyed between the ages of 30 and 50 think they look younger than they are.
10. Women’s satisfaction report card:

• 59% of married women with grown children say they are satisfied with their lives.
• 55% of married childless women surveyed say they are satisfied with their lives.
• 51% of married mothers with children at home say they are satisfied with their lives.
• 37% of unmarried childless women say they are satisfied with their lives.
• 33% of unmarried women with children surveyed say they are satisfied with their lives.

11.In 1998, the average American consumed 56 gallons of soda and 24 gallons of milk.

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Collinsworth, Alter, Nielson, Fowler & Dowling, Inc. is Florida’s largest bonding agency in both volume and personnel. Our offices throughout the state serve a wide variety of contractors in size and discipline. We have markets for the smallest and largest contractors; competitive rates and terms, and most importantly, we have a tradition of providing the highest quality of service available in our business. If we already have the privilege of representing your bond needs, we appreciate your business and want to continue to serve you. If we currently are not writing your business, we would like to have the opportunity to discuss current bonding arrangements to see if we could not provide better terms, better rates, and better service. Please give us a call, even if we do not do business with you, we would like to get to know you.

Charles J. Nielson

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