ALL OF MY LIFE, I HAVE HEARD PLATITUDES OF WISDOM… but as I grew older, I realized that these platitudes may be true in a perfect world, but in reality were not. In that regard, it is my intention to set the record straight on at least some of the gems of wisdom continually whispered to us by our grandparents and parents:

1. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
2. Sex is like air, it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
3. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
4. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
5. Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.
6. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
7. If you think that nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. If you haven’t much education, you must use your brain.
9. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
10. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. Taxation with representation isn’t so hot either.
12. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
14. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
15. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
16. There are two theories to arguing with women, neither one works.
17. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
18. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her some friends?
19. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
20. Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

"Great cultural changes begin in affection and end in routine." - Jacques Barzun

"To remain young, one must change. The perpetual campus hero is not a young man, but an old boy." - Alexander Chase

"Most change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor." - Robert Frost

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I AM ALWAYS AMAZED… at how people spend their money. Here are a few examples of some notable characters and their spending idiosyncrasies:

1. Steven Spielberg has 7 kids and 9 vehicles at his megamillion-dollar estate. To keep the driveways from turning into a demolition derby, he has put up traffic lights in the driveways.
2. Four years ago, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore (now split up) wanted a quiet community in which to raise their daughters. Their solution: they bought most of Hailey, Idaho to create the right small-town feel.
3. Mariah Carey reportedly ended those time-consuming trips to the salon by installing a facility for electrolysis and facials in her Manhattan apartment.
4. Michael J. Fox wanted more quality time with his son, Sam. He therefore had a $50,000 pond built next to his Connecticut home where the two can fish together.
5. Ted Turner, to console himself after his split from Jane Fonda, decided that he wanted to simplify his fast-paced life. For refuge, he purchased a 1.5 million acre ranch complete with pets; the largest privately owned herd of Bison in the Nation.

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"Age is a bad traveling companion." - English Proverb

"Time goes by: reputation increases, ability declines." - Dag Hammarskjold

"The older they get, the better they were when they were younger." - Jim Bouton

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THERE HAS BEEN A BUILDING BOOM THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY… the 10 fastest growing cities in the United States based upon building permits per 1,000 residents are as follows:

1. Las Vegas - 199
2. Orlando - 103
3. Phoenix - 96
4. Atlanta - 94
5. Charlotte - 84
6. Portland, Oregon - 74
7. Denver - 62
8. Seattle - 62
9. Dallas - 57
10. Minneapolis - 52

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Collinsworth, Alter, Nielson, Fowler & Dowling, Inc. is the largest bonding agency in the State of Florida. We have offices in Miami, West Palm Beach, Orlando, Tampa and Sarasota. Our miscellaneous bond unit – Express Surety Services – has offices in Tallahassee, Orlando and Miami. We are both geographically and organizationally prepared to serve all of your bonding needs. Thanks to the relationship that we have with over 25 major surety companies, we feel confident in our ability to improve your bonding program. Our experienced personnel, both from a production and service standpoint, are the best in the industry so that once we have the opportunity to work with you, the service that you will receive from our organization will be second to none – guaranteed. Please give us a call and allow us to review your current bonding program. As a parting shot, Benjamin Disraeli said: "Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret."

Charles J. Nielson

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